I know I touched on having a Pregnancy Fund in #5, yet I feel the need to expand this subject since it's critical. This is my #4 of things I wish I had been taught in school. Pregnancy planning should be a part of everyone's crisis fund. You never know when you'll end up being the next of kin for a relative or have a sudden downturn in the economy where you are suddenly struggling financially and pregnant. I have been in the latter and thought I'd share.
On television sitcoms and movies there is always that one pregnant lady who goes out on maternity leave. As a child, tween, teen and then young adult you actually believe what is show to be common place. It is only when you are older, having never imagined the situation you would find yourself in, that you find out how rare finding a company withpaid maternity leave is and that is if they offer it at all. Most pregnant women find themselves without employment if they cannot return after using up every sick, holiday and vacation day they have.
I worked at a small business until I was nine months pregnant, just like most every other pregnant woman in the United States does. You try to work as long as possible, to save as much as possible, to tide you over with bills until you can return to work. After giving birth, even though it would be best to spend the first months bonding with your newborn, most new parents return to work immediately after first finding suitable child care. Instead of offering parental leave, most US companies that employees seek like the holy grail are the ones who provide on-site child care. Every time someone sneers at a working mother I feel the urge to smack them with a folded chair. I may have spent one too many days watching WWF as a child but it always feels like it would be satisfying when I think of it. Alas, aggravated assault is not something I would like to be charged with.
I was stuck in a quandry with no idea about the resources available. The first thing most people will tell you is "Go get welfare." Well, I'm not a welfare kind of person so I began searching for alternatives. Since I worked simultaneously at a Recruiting Office and a Mergers and Acquisitions firm filing Profit & Loss statements all day I decided to create one for our household to see where we stood and get ideas for increasing our income while decreasing our expenses. One bit of advice I did receive from my employer(s) was to apply for Temporary Disability with the State, which I did. I made $400 a week before delivery and birth and Temporary Disability only paid $150 - $200 a week. The search for supplementation and expense reduction began.
I had an extensive cookbook collection at that time, most of them being culinary textbooks worth $150 a book. I found eBay. I also went back to my college cooking habits which was to buy meat in bulk, package it for storage and plan meals for the month around it. I had worked as a temp before so I began doing contract office work without an agency. Resume writing, envelope stuffing for my former employer and other office odd jobs. Between eBay, odd jobs from home and Temporary Disability, I made my previous salary.
I believe I also went a bit haywire reducing our energy bill. Other than food, energy sucks up most of your income. You have to become enterprising to generate income while taking care of a newborn. Now, I know someone somewhere is saying "Why didn't you go to Social Services?" Well there is such a thing as not qualifying. It happens. I wanted to leave Social Services as the last resort though. I could have just not tried the alternatives I did and gone straight to Social Services but then I would have never started my own business.
I worked in so many industries that I have a variety of talents and Marketing was one of them even though I do not have a formal degree for it. I found myself innundted with website design requests, requests for flyers, resume help, all the while trying to fit in the envelope stuffing for my former employer. I eventually had to drop my former employer since I was fully booked. No one was more shocked than I was. I did do a few contract jobs for them after but never became re-employed.
As I said before, I worked as a temp before accepting employment with my former employer. I've been an independent contractor since two years after leaving high school. I accepted assignments from several different companies at varying amounts. Anywhere, back then, from $6.50 to $25 per hour. An assignment came in; I took it. Work is work is work to me. I confess, this is why Social Services never entered my mind at the time. I have never been a conventional "worker bee".
Resources - Baby Clothing & Products
There are several places you can get clothing at discount prices. One overlooked neighbourhood resource is your local garage sales. I've washed, folded and stored baby clothes that were only worn for a week before the baby outgrew them. I'm sure every parent does that. The bottles, out grown car seats, shoes etc are all stored until a donation bin was spotted in the supermarket parking lot or a notice from the Salvation Army was posted on the community boards.
There is also your local Thrift shops and eBay of course. Local pickup would be best if you do not have cash to deal with shipping fees.
Another source for clothing that no once seems to utilise as they did in the old days are hand-me-downs. When I shopped for my daughter after my son was born I made sure to buy gender neutral clothes with only a few sex specific items. Even shoes were neutral. When my son grew he wore his older sister's hand-me-downs. My youngest daughter wore a 11 year old shirt that all her siblings wore 2 years ago and it was still in great condition when I donated it to the thrift shop.
Resources - Food
I never bought any pre-packaged baby food with the exception of formula and applesauce. I had a baby only blender and a metal steamer. Steam, then puree. I grew up eating from my granmother's garden. The only food items we purchased were spices, staples like flour, sugar, baking powder, dairy and salt. The meat we got from my aunt's farm. Vegetables are one of the most expensive foods to purchase. Even though you may not be able to have an outdoor garden, you can still container garden or try aquaponics (fish and vegetables) in an urban dwelling. Cuts down on food costs.
There are other alternatives available within the community such as Women, Infants and Children (WIC), Food Pantries and Nutritional Supplement (Food Stamps). Food stamps are not just for "low income households" and are used widely by many middle income households in suburbia. I like to think of it as the government making up for not offering national parental leave. These programmes were created to help families with children and other needy people such as the homeless, elderly and disabled. You can search for Food Pantries in your area here:
http://feedingamerica.org/foodbank-results.aspx
Resources - Family & Friends
The one thing that is critical to parenting is having a support group. Whether it is neighbourhood parents, your parents, relatives, close friends or all of the above a solid support group is required. When a newborn comes home they are awake every 3 hours. Feed, burp, change, and sleep. Hopefully. Every 3 hours. There is not much sleep to be had. It is not the physical activity that sucks the most energy out of you; it's the baby crying. It's like each wail serves as a hook that yanks your energy strand by strand until you are completely beyond exhaustion.
When I had my first child, I was surrounded by my now ex-partner's family, then my mum and sister. When I had my second child, I had only my partner. Things ran much smoother having more than two people watching and caring for the baby. Not to mention, providing much required alone time, even if it is for a half hour to hour in the shower all by yourself. It's a wonderful idea to set up a support group well before a baby arrives. It prevents unnecessary stress.
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