I've worked in a lot of industries, okay maybe a few industries, in my life. The one I had most fun in was the service industry. Somewhere in one of those back posts I told you about working for my ex's family restaurant. It was fun for a while because I could escape him while cooking, baking, or even doing deliveries unless he tagged along.
Deliveries were fun because you never knew who you'd meet at the other end. I've seen naked WWF wrestlers, naked WWF girls, naked wedding parties, and a whole slew of drunk folks. I'd have to say I really did enjoy the naked WWF guy, think his name was Brock something. Who doesn't like naked men answering their hotel rooms then walking away to get their wallets? You'd watch those buns too.
Then there are those wedding parties. Let me tell anyone who plans a reception in a hotel this. We. Will. Remember. You. Trust me. There was one bachelor party that we delivered $150 worth of food to. We took the food up to the room and knocked on the door. The door whips open and there's a naked guy standing there. I am accustomed to seeing naked dicks by this poing but not the poor Mexican bus boy who's eyes are about falling out of his head. He wasn't much use after that, with his eyes rolling all over the place, anywhere but where the customer was standing. It's hilarious now but I was pissed at the guy because not only is he naked, he's stoned off his gourd.
So this guy starts telling us to bring the food in. My poor bus boy takes three steps into the room before I crash into his back. I'm trying to figure out why the hell he stopped so I peek around his torso. The room is filled with naked men and women. Not only that but they are all in various sexual positions I've never seen outside the covers of the Kama Sutra. The man turns to see what's keeping us and finally realises that there are people fucking in the room. His eyebrows hit his hairline and he starts apologising as he walks us back out of the room.
We're now back in the hallway, he takes the food inside and comes back with a stack of bills. He peels off exact change for the food. No tip. Again, he starts apologising and says how very, very sorry he is but he needs the singles if we get what he means. By this time the bus boy was muttering in Spanish while holding his cross. I can't tell you if he was praying or not but that was the last time our bus boy accompanied me on a delivery. Poor kid was too traumatised.
I've had a few deliveries after that which were just as hilarious. Like the drunk guy who tried to pay us with several sticks of Doublemint gum and aksed if that should cover it. Ah. No. Or the lady who cheerfully invited me in to her hotel room to put the food on the coffee table where she wanted it, only to whip open a bible and start reverently praying for my soul.
Yes, I've worked a few place but this job was right up there with when I drove a cab.
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